I didn't know that blogger is now like livejournal where you can restrict readers who come to your blog =D So now if I feel the so-called need for exclusivity (actually privacy would be a better word for this sentence), I can just happily activate this...special invites thingie. Hoho! Yelah aku jakon.
I donno if it's something wrong with my phone or the fault lies with Singtel itself. I haven't been receiving calls nor receiving messages at the time they were supposed to be received. It's like, there's a phonecall, but then my phone won't ring or anything like that. Instead, there'll be a caller alert sent to me instead which is only a few hours (or days for that matter) after the phonecall. Gah. It must be Singtel then.

(im guessing this would turn out to be a very random entry c0s there's basically no flow in my train of thoughts at all. bah. i hate it when that happens)

There'll be this NUS open house thingie this coming 10th March and my maths tutor shared some of the stuff that he experienced and wanted us to taste for ourselves when we enter there (insya'allah). It still seems kind of unreal to me that I am on the route (a long one or not, i'm still uncertain.) to the Big U. When I was in primary school, yes, I did fantasize about getting to the university and everything like as though its not a big deal at all. Then come secondary school, I was still holding on to the faith of making it there some day. But when I reached sec 4, apparently, I was the only one in my higher mother tongue class who is adamant on going to the poly and simply refuse to go to jc. Yeah and Cikgu Nora advised me to drop hmt then since I am that sure of going poly and that I'm just wasting my time attending the class (somewhere in that line lah. which teacher would tell you you're wasting time attending lessons kan?). But ohwell, look where am I stuck in now. The A'levels route which is the shortest way ever implemented by the bloody MOE to the university. Heh. And it's not easy like I thought it would be when I was in primary school. Far beyond that actually. And I'm struggling. Really, I am.

But I can't give up just yet. Not now at least (not ever, i hope). If I was to flunk my A's, it would be technically the end of the world for me. Yes, there's such things as going to poly thereafter or taking private A's and all but once again, it won't be that easy. For one thing, I don't think my parents would be as supportive at all. Not when their daughter actually flunked A'levels. Sheesh. I don't think they'll ever forgive me *shrugs* Trust me, I know my parents and I can assure you that I'm not being a dramamama =)
Ohwell. The A'levels results would be released this coming Friday. Haha, it's like deja vu all over again. It was only three years ago that I was in the Dunman hall sitting at the back to witness the sec4'04 batch getting their results aaaand now I'm witnessing A'levels? Gah. It's nerve wrecking to even see the probable reaction, what more to actually receive the results eh? Sigh. I wouldn't want to bawl my eyes out like I did two years ago upon receiving my results next year.

A'levels in about 7 more months or so now. I'm so not ready. I swear. Sumpah.

But ohwell. To make the title of this entry to at least relate anything at all to its contents (by far, none of the contents of this entry got anything to do with the title), shall post up the song which I'm in love with right now. Which happens to be the title for this entry. Haha. I just realised that Farah's handwriting is very the lawa.

Dahulu kau mencintaiku
Dahulu kau menginginkanku
Meskipun takkan pernah ada jawabku
Tak berniat kau tinggalkan aku

Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Di saat kumulai mengharapkanmu
Dan kumohon maafkan aku

Aku menyesal membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu
Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meski kumemohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah kau tinggalkan dirinya untuk diriku...