Sometimes its funny how things between us can oscilate to the other ends of the extremes within such a short span of time. To make it funnier, we were supposed to be friends of bloody fourteen years now, and look at the state we are in. And it's all because of that one night which I wasn't suppose to witness but hell, I did.
Maybe it's my fault for not wanting to know why, for not wanting to know the truth at all. It's not that I'm not interested but I just couldn't bear to know the horrid details since it involves particularly her. You know I was never a big fan of her right from the start and it's vice versa. Dammit, Kel, you don't even like her. Maybe it's because that I know this, makes me refuse to know anything that has got to do with her. And you, ironically. Maybe it's because I'm disappointed at the irrational actions that you did when you very well know that well, it's wrong. I know, who the hell am I to say that what you did was wrong since I'm not a goody-two-shoes myself. Far from it actually.
I'm sad at how things are turning sour between us just because of somebody insignificant in both our lives but like I said, it's because of that fucking night which I wasn't even suppose to witness at all. If I hadn't drop by to drag you along to the movies with us, things would still be as normal between us. If my eyes hadn't laid upon her, you wouldn't even have this nagging feeling of the need to explain things to me, which I do not want to hear.
Some teeny weeny part of me is holding on to the belief that all of that I saw was a mere misunderstanding, nothing more than that. But to compare to what I believe in and to what I see in blackandwhite, the evident is just so bloody apparent. Haiy. I'm never the kind of person to only believe what I see but in this case, what else can I possibly do?
I very much want to hear your explanation though..but then again, I'd think you've lost every ounce of your effort in trying to do that again, yes? Maybe, it's better that way.

And I thought that having a fourteen-year-friendship couldn't be any more solid than anything else but I guess that's just a sweeping statement on my part. If things were to be better between us somehow, I know there'll still be that certain degree of awkwardcy despite the friendship that we shared for more than a decade since both you and I know that we had one too many hitches in our friendship. Sigh. If this is of any consolation, our friendship meant a lot to me and it's heartwrenching to know that it's somehow disintegrating slowly into oblivion because of the many, many..........sigh.
I know that it's impossible to turn back time, so I shall not even begin wishing for it.