This whole rotting-at-home-with-absolutely-nothing-to-do is turning me into a nocturnal. I shall not even mention that it's making me fatter, gaining more unnecessary weight (since when is gaining weight necessary anyway?) to this already....fat body. Gah. Okay but the main point here is, I'm becoming nocturnal. More than usual. The earliest I go to sleep every night, or in this case, morning, would be 6AM. It's very frustrating, really, because the moment I wake up, almost half of my day is gone and I can't do anything much productive like LOOKING FOR A FREAKING JOB. But! For tonight, since I've been thinking about this issue a lot, I'll (hopefully) come up with a blogpost to address about something that is irking the shit out of me.

MATS.


I don't mean those mats you place at your doorstep but those malay jantans who gloriously embrace the title that the society gave them. Mats. And this post, I hope, is going to classify the different kinds of mats that exist today.


1. Matrep murah
This group of mats is the one which I hate the most. I'm just going to describe them as how I've had my experiences with them and I don't bloody care if I sound bias (in a very rude manner, i may add).

These matrep-matrep murah, they are pretty much delusional. Firstly, just what the hell is up with the coloured hair? And of all colours, it has to be golden. GOLDEN! Omg do they have ANY idea what an eyesore is that? To make it worse, most of them with the golden hair are dark. Not those nicely tanned skin, but DARK. I don't have anything against dark-skinned people but I'm really against those who are dark-skinned WITH golden hair. Sungguh burok dan maha ya'rabbi nyer burok.

Another trademark look of these matreps - coloured contact lenses. Coloured contact lenses themselves are okay and they are the best invention next to kohl eyeliners. But coloured contact lenses being put on by these mats is a major BLEAGH. Okay, brown contact lenses are still acceptable but still has the ewwww factor. Blue, green, aqua, purple or any other colours that can only belong to the Cacausians are absolutely revolting la can? They are called cosmetic contact lenses for a reason, you know. Seriously. Golden hair and coloured contact lenses? Tolong siket hor, you need to go so much more than that to be a faux mat salleh. Sungguh tak menjadi dan sungguh menyakitkan mata bila dipandang *shakes head*

I know skinny jeans are the IN thing nowadays BUT.
Face it, skinny jeans will only look good on people who can carry off the look AND of course, as the name suggested, skinny or moderately thin. But of course, mats, in their usual attention seeking mode, decided to grab all the attention from the public to them with brightly coloured skinny jeans!

-___________-"

I could go blind walking around the streets nowadays, really. They're not just an eyesore anymore. Dah naik pangkat. Sheeeeeeeeeesh.
And to those fat mats (i dont have a thing against fat people. just fat mats), kalau dah tak boleh sumbat itu babat-babat semua dalam jeans tu...jangaaaaan la paksa. Go work and get some money to buy a larger pair yah?


Pierced ears. Pierced nose. Pierced eyebrows. Like, hello?? Just what are they trying to prove, really? I shall not slip in any forms of religion material here because I'm very sure every single mat out there bloody well knows it. Furthermore, I'm in no position to preach about religious moral values because I'm one hell of a sinner myself. I believe in practicing what I preach so I'm not going to be a hypocrite to myself. But the main point here about them piercing all the posible locations they can possibly find on their body is just execrable. Gah. Pantang nenek moyang aku kalau jantan tindik telinga (or other parts of the body, duh).

They think their fathers/grandfathers own the SBS/SMRT company. Which I don't think they do. And I don't think all of these matreps possess any physical impairment such as hearing disability, right? *swears under breath*
Talking loudly like as though they own the motherfucking place is one thing. Making out/foreplaying in front of the public is another. The public doesn't need an R(A) scene while commuting, really. They could really make do without it. Everytime I see these deprived couples, I really feel like doing the stunt that Kel did on a couple we spotted at the Esplanade rooftop.
(digressing)
Okay so there was this couple making out like as though they were gonna have sex any minute soon. Kel, being the excited one seeing them, decided to be an idiot. So he went up straight to the couple (i swear the guy was groping around for her boobs already), sat beside the guy as close as possible, and stared. For the longest time possible.
"Ehh....what are you two doing ah...?"
The couple stopped kissing abruptly and the guy turned around to face Kel and looked like he was about to punch Kel. But thank God for Kel having enough brains to make himself look like he was a deranged lunatic so the guy decided not to create a scene. I guess he was scared that Kel might be dangerous and harm them, I donno. Hahahaha. Really, if I was brave or crazy enough to pull off a stunt like that (without gagging in the process of course), I WOULD.

Tattoos. Fierce ke pe kalau ada tattoo?


Oh, and the reason why I put matrep murah is because...
If they can call girls who sleep around perempuan murah, why not these jantans who sleep around as well? Thus, matrep murah. They think they can get away with getting girls pregnant. If I have every chance to go up to all the mats there is in this face of the universe, I'd tell them to fuck themselves upside down while sticking a burning hot pole up their arses and pouring boiling water down their throats.

I've had an encounter with one such matrep and I don't know why I'd actually let myself be insulted by a scum like that. Okay, maybe I was helping a friend but still, just talking to this species of matrep murah is just so ^&(#$%&!^. One thing about these matrep murah is that they are sungguh tak sedar diri. I hate the fact that they can bed around as and when they like it and STILL get away with it. I shall not begin on how that irate the shit out of me.


2. Mat rempit
Haha, I donno how they come up with the term "rempit". I guess it's from the cheapo malaysian (i'm very against malaysia now, you should know why) movie about those mats with big bikes and think they own the whole world *rolls eyes* I guess the only difference about those mats in the movies and the mats whom I'm addressing now is the difference in size of their bikes.

The mat-mat rempit whom I've seen on the road or at the void deck revving up their engines to, erhem, attact attention (isn't that always their main motives? sheesh), have puny bikes. Really. Tiny, small, dwarf-like, microscopic, miniature (you get what i mean already, don't you?) bikes. That's okay, you know, being their first bike and all. But the annoying thing is, they think their moto-moto kapcai are like Yamaha R1 or Suzuki Hayabusa. I donno if I should pity them for harbouring such thoughts.

PLUS! It's bleeding irritating when they travel on the road with their speakerbox booming all sorts of stupid (which includes those things called trance/techno and stale hiphop/rnb) songs which we really don't need to hear while driving. Seriously. Damn ridiculous, I tell you. Other users of the road don't need a mobile disco, if that's the favour they're trying to do for other drivers/pedestrians -__-"

And stop it with the perasaan-moto-besar seh. Jalan kat TPE je moto dah pancet. Tsk.

3. Mat pandai
This is another group of mats who thinks they rule the world. Not because they have puny bikes or golden hair but because they have a bit more luck in accomplishing their education pursuits, for example, those who made it to the junior colleges.

Now, I know I am unfortunately from one of these damned instituitions, so this category of mats which I'm about to address are most likely from my own alma mater. Siapa-siapa yang mungkin akan terasa, just keep in mind that I'm not referring to you if it will make you feel any better :) Okay, to widen the focus group of this category, I'm gonna include some examples from my secondary school, too, since once again, I was unfortunate enough to land into the express stream which is full of arrogant people who are so full of themselves JUST because they got lucky during PSLE. Gah.


So, back to the point, the mat-mat pandai.

They are the group of people who would look down on others who are slightly less successful than them, ie, the people from ITE or polytechnics for that matter. I don't know what makes them think that they have the access to make themselves feel superior when looking down at others like that. It's just so bloody sickening. Just because they made it to the goddamn jc, doesn't mean they have ANY bleeding reasons at all to look at others in disdain. I feel like kicking their fucking balls each and every time they address those people with a sneer.

And it's just plain rude and uncouth of them to make jokes out of these people. Making fun of them DOESN'T make you any smarter at all. In fact, it just amplifies on how shallow and fucking stupid you are to even make fun of other people like that. So bloody what if you are able to solve a maths question on complex numbers or memorise all the reactions that a bleeding organic chemical can go through? You don't own the world just because you know how to operate a graphic calculator. Some of my friends who I respect, and who are in ITE/polytechnics, have far more greater talents and knowledge about more important things in life than these mat-mat pandai can ever have.

Not only the jc people la eh. Some of the people whom I know back then in Dunman sec, in the express stream, are just plain pain in the arses. They're just in the bloody express stream in Dunman sec and they want to look down on the normal academic/technical stream people? It should be the other way round instead, you know.

And, whatever jokes that these mat-mat pandai tried soooo hard to come up with, SUMPAH TAK KELAKAR.

Haaaa..that felt quite good actually. Hehe. I'll come up with more theory about these mats and the other different categories there is when I've done my, erhem, in-depth research about the other mats available.

Now, I want to talk to my mat kental.

Labels: numberings, word diarrhoea