Everything seems pretty much of a blur nowadays - I can't keep track of what's happening around me anymore. A whole lot more of thoughts are bombarding my brain now and it's really frustrating c0s I'd get so lost in it. Maybe it's because time is just moving so fast, I can't keep up. It has always been that way, lagging behind and everything. And when I've finally caught up with it, I'd get left behind again. It's tiring..and I'm exhausted. Sometimes I just wish I could just curl up and disappear to somewhere safe where nothing else really matters at all. It's just me and seclusion. There's always some sort of comfort that I seek in that.
And it's terrifying, now that there's a possibility of me screwing up all that I've put in for. It's even more terrifying that what's going to come looks so bleak. Nothing has ever hold so much uncertainty for me up till now. I'd usually get my answer immediately whenever I question myself what's there to do. But now...getting an answer is simply beyond attainable. Sigh.
Living from day to day, just being up and about..I can't deal with that anymore. It's suffocating, it's asphyxiating. And it doesn't help that I keep on wondering whether or not I'll be able to survive through the day because it's a struggle. I'm weak like that, I give up way too easily.



You know what's my biggest problem is now?




I think too much.

Labels: word diarrhoea