There's always this tendency for me to put my life on rewind and see the show over and over again but only, it's on slow motion. Some scenes are excruciating to look back on and some scenes just leave a teardrop or two when remembering it. Someone told me once that what hurts us most will only make us stronger.

Yeah, it could work for most people but for me, it'll take a lot harder.

I'm trying, really. What with drowning myself with work up to the point where the parents won't bother me with phonecalls unless it's really, really late at night asking me if I'd be coming back home at all. Haha, very drastic change from them because as you know, I'd always have a bloody strict curfew where they'd start demanding my whereabouts when the clock strikes 10. But now, they won't call me unless I'd already call them by 11+ to tell them that I won't be coming home. Wooo. Shall not take advantage of the situation but..I'm really thankful for their understanding :)

I digressed.

Anyway, yes, work has been keeping me alive even though what I do are mostly freelance. I love the adrenalin rush of going here and there and checking my trusty little black book (I begin to depend on this a lot ever since the loss of my beloved cybershot phone *tears) each time someone wants to make an appointment with me. Hehe. Macam paham busy gitu la kan.

Eh I really need to stop this habit of digressing already!

Well, bottomline is, it won't be this hard for me if I hadn't find out about those things myself. Ignorance is bliss, and I cannot agree more.
But in any case, despite all these failed attempts to not look back again, I think I'm quite happy actually :) Contented might be a better word to use but all the same, I'm happy. No, I'm not gonna go all i'm-putting-on-a-pretend/facade/masquarade in front of people to hide my agony/misery/sadness yada yada yada...bullshit. And I'm not having a "broken smile" either. I'm happy, that's that :)

Another someone enlightened me on something..

"I-love-you" has got eight letters.
So does "bullshit".

Totally true.

Labels: word diarrhoea