The idea of me being in a relationship doesn't seem that appealing - well, maybe, at least for now. I just find the whole idea of being in a relationship a tad too overrated, what with all the commitments and idealogies that come together with it in a package deal. Yes, it may give the people in a relationship some sort of a comfort zone, some sort of a reassurance that there is a constant person whom you can depend on or fall back on in times of...need. But for now, I don't seem to have any need or want for that. That's because I don't want to have this unnecessary dependency on anyone or subject my happiness to something that is not constant in the first place.

I like how things are with Yan right now. We have a lot of crazy fun together and that's pretty much all that I need. Someone to have fun with amidst all my hectic schedule. For the both of us, we pretty much agree that neither of us have the time to actually be really committed in a relationship. What's the point of establishing a relationship where there's no commitment? With a relationship, there's bound to have a commitment somewhere and that alone takes a lot of time. We don't have that much time to spare, what with his my work. Yeah, work alone won't keep us that busy but hey, we've got other problems to think about as well. I just like the idea of if we have the time, then we'll hang out. If not, then it's no big deal. A few minutes worth of phonecall or a few exchange of text messages will do. And with him, there's no such nonsense like the constant wondering of his whereabouts or his current activity - I have enough to worry about aaaaand it's because it does not freaking matter at all. His business is none of my business and vice versa. Yeah, it may sound like as though I don't give a damn about him but that's not true. It affects me in some way or another if he doesn't feel okay and I would do anything within my limits to make him feel slightly better if not much. That's what I would do for any friend of mine anyway. And it's surprising how he can tell that something's wrong simply by the way I say hello whenever he calls and he'll force it out of me till I whine everything to him. Hee that gives me this fuzzy feeling I liiiiike ^_^ So that's about me and Yan - in a nutshell. It's nothing complicated, yes? I can't handle complication hahaha.

Even though we did acknowledge the fact that we're definitely more than friends, I doubt there would be any change in what we are in a long time to come, just the way I want it to be. We just have got a tad too many issues to resolve first before anything else could happen. What's the point of rushing things out for the sake of just having "something special" when everything else is still in a mess, right? Besides, I've clean forgotten what it's like to have a boyfriend lol I'd just screw everything up. I still wanna have fun laaaa...and so does he. It's funny how that part doesn't bother me when I used to be so anal about that in the past. He's someone whom I can guarantee to have a good laugh with one moment (up to the point where I have stitches and felt like vomitting) and have a good conversation the next. With him, there's no such thing as an awkward moment or make-some-stupid-noise-just-to-fill-in-the-silence instances.

It's almost two years now since...everything. And this is by far the longest that the both of us stayed put in this without being on hiatus or disappearing into thin air or seeing multiple persons simultaneously hehe. We're not so screwed up after all (:


I like this picture. He's just so fascinated by the whole mirror thingie hehe. He's so nerdy, I like it *wiggle wiggle eyebrows*

Labels: Yan