Today was superb =)
Mr Kailani really meant business (all my digressing methods went down the drain. he still forced me to play although i complained that my fingers hurt =() when it comes to guitars even though he tried to reassure me countless of times to relax and just enjoy playing. Hah! But I can't help feeling like an idiot playing my guitar in front of him like that. Heh heh. Shy lah *shy face*
Buuuuuuuuut I had fun anyways and the sense of satisfaction was there when I managed to ummm..complete at least half of the song he was trying to teach me =D Eh okay what half of the song! I still have yet to listen to the whole song so I'll probably get a clearer idea on how it goes after listening to it like a thousand times. I wouldn't mind c0s it's a pretty nice song =)

"This song very lepaaak ah.."
-starts singing song-

Just hopefully I won't forget how to play la ah..all those guitar masters (people like kai, apek, alex..they're bloody good i tell you) who taught me songs to play on the spot, I'd forget how to play after a week. Like all those times when I felt intimidated by their presence and pressurized were in vain c0s it's all back to square one after a week. Bah. I am so bloody useless. Heee.

I've been missing a friend badly of late. Okay, maybe not just a friend, but my best friend. Although we're in the same bloody school, being in the same area for like almost half of our day, we barely get to meet. If you count bumping into each other while making our way to the next class or lectures then our so-called meeting just stops there. It's funny how the past 5 years of basically sharing everything under the sun, and laughing our ass off about the slightest thing that we both find funny but others simply can't share the same perspective, can be reduced to just a mere hi-bye conversation. If you can ever call that a conversation.
Sigh. Sometimes, I admit, I do feel a bit sore whenever she's around the company of her clique and all..but I can't help feeling that way, can I? It hurts the most when we had that slight misunderstanding last year..but it's been cleared out now....I guess. Maybe that's the cause for what we are now? Yes, I do hang out with "new" people now, too, but does that have to drastically change everything?
Despite the 4 short years in secondary school, I can confidently say that she knows me the best inside out because she can see through right my pretence and is not afraid to tell it straight to my face. She's one of those rare friends that I have who'll say things which I want and need to hear whenever I start ranting to her non-stop. And ultimately, she'll make me laugh my problems off and made me believe that they're never there in the first place.
It's my fault for how things are turning out right now. Those words are still fresh in my head and I've yet to stop reproaching myself about that. I've been a lousy friend, I admit. But I can promise you that you are definitely more than a friend whom I run to just because I have no one else to turn to. You're actually the first person whom I thought of confiding in and the first person whom I want to share all my happy stuff. I changed, maybe, but I'm pretty much the same bloody person I was/am a few years back (still as childish, like how you'd like to describe). Most of the changes that you see now are maybe a mere facade (no, i'm not those stereotypical troubled teens who have "stories/tragedies behind each smile". how corny.). Sigh. I'd do anything to have what we have not so long ago. You are, definitely, a friend I would love and be honoured to keep for life. I'm not asking for anything much..just that I hope things would turn out for the better..somehow. Sigh.


I miss you, you know that?




But like another friend said, maybe I should take the initiative. Once again.



i doubt i can get back to bed now. hah. probably the "retribution" for disturbing kai when he was sleeping last night, and now i'm experiencing the same thing as he did *chuckles*

but im tired.

Labels: Kai, word diarrhoea