Imagine, if.

I'm a walking contradiction personified. Like as if you don't know that already.

Saturday, May 17, 2008 @ 10:45 PM

this time...

I'm really not good at living in denial which is why I never tried being in one. Maybe once or twice, but I got out of it pretty quickly. I think.
The phrase "meeting the right person at the wrong time" used to make no sense to me at all. It's like, if you already meet the right person, then everything else would be alright, won't it? What else could go wrong if you found the one's that so perfect for you? That perception held strong in me until 16th of February happened.

You're perfect in every single way. You're everything that I could ever ask for. You're God-sent to me. But it's just the circumstances and the events that began unfolding simply took a toll on us and it was just too heavy to bear. We let each other go but never really did. Simply because, I still need you to be around all the time. Simply because, that three years, was something that is impossible to let go of. Simply because, you are the only one, the only one, who can wipe my tears away.
The weeks following that fateful day were pretty rough. But you still stick around, still within my reach. I thought it would be easy to get over you because of the things that I found out about you that made me hate you so much. So, so, so much up to the point where I'd almost did not want you in my life anymore. I wanted you to be gone. For good.
We met up. And I got angrier at you for doing the things you do. For making my knees go weak and my heart skip a beat all over again but, you weren't going to stay this time round. I got angry at you, maybe for no particular reason, but I was just so angry. But, you took my anger in like how you always did, and slowly ironed and sorted things out one by one. My anger abated, as usual, because I can never stay angry at you for long. I was never able to do that. We thought we reached to a definite conclusion but, baby, since when oh when we were able to do that? We talked things through, we came to a mutual decision all the time but we never stick to it. We never do what we actually planned out to do.
I met new people. I tried giving them chances to prove their worth to stay. But all the time, every single time that I'm out with any one of them, I kept thinking that they'd never match up to you. How easy it was for you to make me laugh, how easy it was for you to make me look stupid, how easy it was for you to just put that smile on my lips all the time. All they managed to do was to make me smile politely, and maybe, as to not make them look...un-satisfactory, insert a fake laughter or two. And then you came up and tell me too that, even with all the new people you got to know and actually like, all you wanted was *touchedmycheek* me. It felt surreal as you said all of those things. I almost did not want to believe you because I'm scared.

But you told me, like you always did when I asked, that you'd still love me in the morning.

I'm tired of hearing them say the same old things about my "nice eyes" and "beautiful smile" just for the sake of flattering me. I just want you telling me that you're crazy about my flabby arms, as unflattering as that sounds.
All I ever wanted is you and no one else. There's no reason why to it but there's a trillion and one reasons all the same. I don't have to tell you all of these because you'd always know.
But right now, I want you to know that you're the right person for me all along. We're just waiting for that right time to come to pick up where we left off.
And if that right time really comes along, we'll make sure, that time round, would be...for life :)

Right now, I just want you to be happy with just the way things are...whatever they may seem to be like for now. As long as I know that you're happy...I will be as well =)

Screw this. Really.

Labels: wishful thought, word diarrhoea